He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
