My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
