The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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