someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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