So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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