i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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