Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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