Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You are a genius and a whore.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
