I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize