His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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