last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
