you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
