it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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