would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
