Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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