I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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