your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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