so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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