so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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