what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
