I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
