In the future we'll all be gay
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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