Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
