This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
