So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
