Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
