That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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