I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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