Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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