i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
