wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
