I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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