every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
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