Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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