I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize