I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
