when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
