The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
