Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
