I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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