I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
