We got so high we made milksteak
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
