ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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