I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
