I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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