Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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