She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
