What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
