It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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