why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
