people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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