Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
