i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
