dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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