she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
